it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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