Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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