You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
