I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You don't make any sense
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