And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
