Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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