Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
