Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You're so nebulous sometimes
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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