Need sex. Gaining weight.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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