omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i barfeds in our rink
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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