Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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