What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
