So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
