maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
smell my finger.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
