One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
