I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
