what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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