i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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