The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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