shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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