I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize