I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
