honey bunches of taint.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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