no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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