Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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