have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Such a big mess for such a small penis
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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