My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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