Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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