I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
