Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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