AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
