So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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