i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
