I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
