You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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