i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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