I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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