is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
