i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
