Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
