So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
