i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
