Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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