If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
