I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Is it penis luge time yet?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
