I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
