She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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