I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
