Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
