I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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