"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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