I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
