we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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