Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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