You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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