i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
