I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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