I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
