Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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