He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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