He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
