margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im six kinds of drunk right now
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
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