Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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