On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I FOUND THE LEGS
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize