my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
