Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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