Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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