things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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